I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
