I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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