Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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