So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
