I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
