thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just had sex on a roof
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
