yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
