i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Randomize
