so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
