I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
