Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'd cum for enchiladas.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize