it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
