Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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