I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
