ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
