It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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