i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
