I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
