evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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