So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize