dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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