woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
