I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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