Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize