We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
