Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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