You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
