I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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