Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
