did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
