It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
