As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
