I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Every concussion has its silver lining
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
