She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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