i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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