I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Boobs are out for the taking
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
