Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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