alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
