Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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