You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
where are my eyebrows?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
