stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
