Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
