Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
