I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
