Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
this hospital has no fireball
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
