every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
