either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize