Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I don't deserve a penis
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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