I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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