we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
