i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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