youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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