apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
