i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He better not be in your backpack
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
