I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
