If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just want to make out with him forever
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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