The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
