She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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