do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she peed on how many people?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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