I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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