My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
