Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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