ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you didnt know i had herpes?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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