i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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