Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize