Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She even gives head with a lisp.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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