I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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