Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
