Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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