If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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