she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
I'm really busy with my period
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