ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
