so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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