i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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