just tell him i said nine months
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
