Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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