I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
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