P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
