Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
